Bumps in the Road

We've had a bit of a rough week. Our female black lab, Charlie, has been in obvious pain on-and-off for a couple of months. Our vet friend gave us some pain killers a month or so ago, but this last week they didn't seem to help. We called our vet and told her our situation and she told us to bring Charlie in, that they have a fund that can help financially.

Long story short, Charlie's pancreas and liver weren't working well and were continuing to fail and we ended up having to make the difficult decision to put her down last Friday.

This is not the first dog we've put down. But Charlie was with us during a particularly challenging time in our lives - going through seminary - and was definitely a big part of our story in Pittsburgh.

I find myself tearing up at the most mundane moments... Fixing dinner and looking down to find that expectant and hopeful face looking up at me. Going upstairs to bed and expecting to see a big black circle already curled up on the doggie bed.

I was browsing through the pictures of dogs and puppies at the Humane Society, online, and at various rescue agencies when I finally realized I was looking for Charlie. None of these dogs were fitting the bill.

We're going to two memorial services this week. Having just gone through this with Charlie, I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a spouse or a parent... What a gift God gives us in ALL His creation - humans and animals alike. They come into our lives and challenge us and love us, change us and contribute in molding us more and more into the likeness of Jesus. And then they leave us.

I found myself yesterday, as I was walking with Sean and Megan's dog Emma, feeling angry. "C'mon God! Can we just GET ON WITH IT?! What more is there to learn? What more is there that we need to go through before we're ready for this church You have for us?!!! Enough already!"

I had a Skype interview with a small church in NC last week, and after talking again with one of the folks on the Pastor Nominating Committee it sounded like they were just going to finish checking my references and they'd be inviting me to come and preach in a neutral pulpit. But it's been a number of days now and I've heard nothing. The up and down of this process is exhausting.

We've learned a lot through our seminary experience and in the last five or so months, and I think the biggest thing God wants us to continually learn through all of this is to cling to HIM. As much as we love the people around us...as much as we love the sweet animals He's blessed us with...God wants us to come to Him when we're hurting. He wants us to come to Him when we're struggling. He wants us to come to Him when we're angry - even angry with Him!

I know I can be overly dependent on my animals - and my people. I'm learning to lean more and more on Him, fully. One more lesson learned (or at least eyes have been opened - it'll be a lifetime of learning to live it).

Are we there yet?
~Sally